Editor’s Preface: This is the second of two essays on parish ministry and sexuality. The first essay may be found here. The two authors ultimately land in different places in practical and theological terms. However, their perspectives are both so nuanced that blithe labels like “liberal” and “conservative” are not helpful; the instinct to place them in such categories reflects perhaps the lingering political sensibilities of an earlier generation. Instead, let us read, mark, and digest. It is likely that our readers will find things to disagree with and affirm in both essays, and the discomfort of this may be frustrating. But we believe that such conversations are not just worthwhile but necessary as we seek faithfulness to the gospel.
After George Floyd was killed, white evangelical Christians seemed to lean in and learn from Black Christian leaders like Esau McCaulley and Justin Giboneyin ways that appeared miraculous compared to how many white Christians engaged in conversations about race and faith after Trayvon Martin was killed. Fellow white Christians were offered tools to zoom out from just thinking about personal sin and, instead, think about the immediate and generational impacts of communal sins (both intentional and unintentional). Our eyes were opened to the ways that imbalances established by intentional injustice tend to be maintained (or even widened) over future generations if there is no intentional correction.. White evangelical Christians recognized their responsibility to do something to deconstruct the systems that maintained imbalances and do something to make the victims of generational injustice whole again, somehow.
As someone who coaches pastors and parents about how to minister to sexual minorities, I was curious about how to translate these new found tools and concepts for biblical racial justice into biblical justice for gay people. And as someone who experiences same-sex attraction and stewards that according to historic Christian sexual ethics, I was both curious and wary about what those potent intellectual and theological catalysts might do in my heart and in churches leaning into conversations about race and faith.
I noticed many of my fellow white evangelical Christians posting black squares on social media in support of #blacklivesmatter (and often in the same season, declaring that they were egalitarian). Then there was sexual ethics. During this period, I received dozens of messages from earnest Christians with some version of the following question:
“I’ve become convinced that how Jesus really sees things is more in line with culturally progressive views on racial justice and women in leadership. I’ve always believed in a more traditional Christian sexual ethic, but now it’s bothering me that the version of Jesus in my head leans one way on race and women, but then the other on sexual minorities. That seems inconsistent. I feel like Jesus wants some form of dignity and justice for gay people as well. Does that mean I need to switch my views on that too?”
My first impulse was to send these earnest Christians an Amazon link to William Webb’s Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals. This somewhat dated, unsubtly titled volume concedes that Christians have used the Bible to justify slavery and oppress women, but it encourages modern Christians to instead focus on what the narrative across the Scriptures tells us about God’s ultimate ethic on slavery, women in leadership, and gay sex. Webb argues that when we take a closer look at how the Bible talks about each of those, we see the Scriptures treat those topics differently and compel the Christian to hold perspectives on race, female leadership, and sexuality that point in different directions.
Basing his approach on the notion that God accommodates His self-revelation based on our abilities and limits, Webb points out that across the narrative of Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, the way God talks about slavery and women changes over time—suggesting a trajectory toward an ultimate good. Women, for example, are among Christ’s disciples, and Paul urges Philemon to see his slave as a beloved brother.
Webb argues that this trajectory, however, is not found in how the Bible discusses same-sex sexual activity. Notwithstanding all the cultural caveats we might make, sexual activity between people of the same sex appears to draw consistent repudiation, even condemnation.
So I sent the Amazon link for Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals to my friends yearning for biblical justice for sexual minorities. They were underwhelmed.
What I failed to recognize was that their core concern wasn’t the seeming inconsistency of Christian responses to race, gender, and sexuality. Instead, their primary concern was a desire for gay Christians to experience genuine wholeness and thriving in our churches, instead of experiencing loss of faith driven by Christian homophobia. The Christians messaging me saw that believers could hold onto biblical ethics while seeking justice for racial minorities and women. Their real question was, “What about gay people?” Unspoken, I heard them also hinting that they were hoping there was a way to satisfy their God-given yearning for justice for sexual minorities without needing to abandon historic Christian sexual ethics.
After many discussions, we slowly started to piece together an answer. As is often the case with problem-solving, we first needed to admit that there is a problem. And we needed to name how Christians have intentionally and unintentionally fostered injustices against gay people.
Particularly in the past century, it seemed like Christians have either perpetrated or been complicit in these behaviors, motivated at some level by homophobia:
- Christians defended the criminalization of gay sex, supported housing and employment discrimination policies, and stood by as the AIDS crisis was waved away as gay cancer.
- Pastors taught that merely experiencing same-sex attraction was a sin and propagated ex-gay theology that led millions to lose their life or faith.
- Denominations barred celibate gay Christians from leadership in their churches and policed what words sexual minorities could use to describe themselves.
- Parents failed to protect kids from the wounds of the closet by waiting until kids came out to share about God’s love and wisdom for same-sex attracted people, enabling loss of faith and loss of life.
- Churches neglected to teach about or support the vocational singleness encouraged in Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7, instead cultivating churches in which no one can thrive in lifetime singleness for the sake of the kingdom.
- Often with the best intentions, churches hid their historic Christian sexual ethics, publicly used messaging that hinted at the opposite, and set gay people up for painful bait-and-switch experiences when they learned the truth after years of fellowship.
- Christians maintained a double standard of sexual stewardship by calling gay Christians to biblical standards but then turning a blind eye to sins among straight Christians, including casual romance, premarital sex, disregard for Christ’s invitation to consider vocational singleness, refusing to be open to raising children for the kingdom in Christian marriage, and enabling unbiblical divorce/remarriage.
As my friends and I considered the effect of these seven injustices, I noted that most of the gay Christians I’ve known haven’t directly endured the worst of these injustices. Their churches weren’t overtly homophobic, and many of them allow celibate gay Christians to lead. Fellow Christians have often supported basic LGBT civil rights. But too many of the gay Christians I’ve known who’ve tried to follow historic Christian sexual ethics still struggle mightily. They’re haunted by the lingering wounds of the closet, including shame, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. A subtle double standard of sexual stewardship in their churches still stings. Their churches still don’t know how to offer lifelong, lived-in family to anyone in long-term singleness, regardless of sexual orientation. It seems there’s a systemic homophobia that was established by communal sins of the past, continues to burden gay Christians today attempting to follow God’s wisdom, and must be pruned from the Church.
Holding unambiguously to biblical wisdom for sexual minorities, believing unequivocally that God loves gay people, and asserting unreservedly that He wants to offer them what’s truly best, my friends and I dreamed about biblical justice for sexual minorities. We remembered one of the key transferrable lessons from biblical racial justice and empowerment of women: God is much more concerned with making those on the margins whole than He is about punishing those who established or maintained injustice.
In contrast to the injustice gay people have experienced, we discerned seven ways the Church can be cleansed of systemic homophobia and sexual minorities can be made whole:
- Churches can repent for the sins of past Christians against gay people. Nehemiah 9 and Ezra 9, among others, make clear that it is good for the people of God to recognize and confess the collective sins of the Church.
- Pastors can correctly teach that while same-sex attraction may constitute a temptation, a person has not sinned until the individual has yielded to that temptation in thought, word, or deed. Pastors can teach that the solution to temptation isn’t harmfully ineffective ex-gay practices, but instead a daily dependence on the Holy Spirit to resist temptation.
- Denominations can recruit leaders who are faithfully stewarding their same-sex attractions, celebrate the spiritual gifts they have to offer the body of Christ, and support them to use whatever words empower them to reach LGBT people with the gospel.
- Churches can clearly and compassionately share their convictions about God’s love and wisdom for sexual minorities so that straight Christians know how to better support their queer siblings and so that gay Christians know whether it’s safe to share their story.
- Parents can teach every kid in age-appropriate ways about sexual stewardship for all people, including God’s love and wisdom for same-sex attracted people, before puberty.
- Churches can raise the bar for everyone’s sexual stewardship, protecting gay Christians from a self-destructive victim mentality and fostering thriving according to God’s wisdom for all.
- Churches can teach what Jesus and Paul had to say about vocational singleness, guide teens and young adults to discern (regardless of sexual orientation), celebrate the commitments and kingdom work of vocational singles, hire them as church staff, and cultivate intentional Christian community where vocational singles can find lived-in family.
We were inspired by this vision, but something still felt undeniably different about biblical racial justice versus biblical justice for sexual minorities. Then we clearly named it: there’s nothing broken about being Black. The color of our black and brown siblings in Christ is exactly what God intended for them. In contrast, while injustices have been committed against gay people and systemic homophobia lingers, same-sex attractions are ultimately a brokenness that God did not intend. Perhaps this difference is why Webb’s Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals is unavoidably necessary. Biblical justice for racial minorities and for sexual minorities will look different, but not because God is arbitrarily singling out gay people. No, true biblical justice for sexual minorities will be just as good for gay people as it has been (in part) for women and people of color. But it doesn’t look that way yet, right? Why? I submit it is because we haven’t tried it yet.
The Church has never actually tried to embody God’s wisdom for sexual minorities in ways that lead to good and beautiful thriving for gay people. We’ve only seen the tragic fruit of ex-gay theology and revisionist sexual ethics. Perhaps for the first time in history, Christians have everything we need to compassionately embody historic Christian sexual ethics. We could try it and see what happens! We could discover how gloriously good and beautiful a Church filled with gay Christians thriving according to God’s wisdom can be.
We might realize a Church in which kids grow up hearing and seeing the testimonies of Christians publicly navigating same-sex attractions, committed to historic Christian sexual ethics, and experiencing just as much connection and community as their opposite-sex attracted brothers and sisters in Christ. Imagine some gay Christians walking out vocational singleness and others walking out marriage with someone of the opposite sex, but all finding deep belonging as they daily depend on the Holy Spirit to resist lesser loves. We might see a Church in which gay and straight Christians spur one another on toward love and good deeds, and the whole body of Christ flourishes according to God’s wisdom. And we might delight in a Church where kids are sober-minded but not scared if they notice same-sex attractions in themselves, because they’re confident they can share with their parents and find lifelong support from their local church to thrive according to God’s wisdom.
Let’s try.
Churches can be cleansed of systemic homophobia by accepting that God creates some men gay, some women lesbian, some people bisexual, some people transgender, and some people intersex. Then churches can welcome and affirm lgbtq people, including celebrating the marriages of same-sex couples.
That would end the injustices perpetrated by churches against lgbtq people.